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No praise; No blame. Who would I be without it?


Unsplash - Outlook coast

I remember when I read Dan Millman's book "Peaceful Warrior". Dan, who finally achieved a challenge given to him by Socrates, was astonished at his indifferency. He expected to be praised, for that he did well.


Of course, how could it be different since we're all raised with praise and blame for what we're doing? Either we're doing well or not.


Right from the beginning, we're constantly judged for how we are, what we do, what we say, and how we behave. Not only are we judged and manipulated with praise and blame by others, but also and especially by ourselves.


As a parent, I want my daughter to feel good. Obviously, because I love her. So whenever she did something great, perceived by me as a judge; I praised her. I let her know that she's the greatest person on earth. That she did well and that I'm proud of her.


But what are the consequences of this pattern? We're always striving for recognition for what we do, what we say, and how we behave, to feel valuable. To achieve this, we also twist ourselves to other's liking.

Ask your self, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise. Who would I be then? - Quentin Crisp

Good question! I think it's worth having a closer look at it. Who would I be without praise and blame in my life? How would I feel? Not good, nor bad? Would I be or feel indifferent?


I think this is something hard to write or discuss with the words at our disposal. If something isn't good or bad, it's indifferent, right? It's neither the one, nor the other. But indifferent, to me at least, feels more negative than positive.


Assuming that there is no judgement. Assuming that, if we could let go totally of judgement, removing praise and blame, what would remain?


Life would remain. Life, the way it is. Something has been done, something has happened, the way it did. It is what it is. Free from judgement.


The more I think about it, the more it comforts me.


Free from judgement. That must be heaven.


Enjoy the moment :)

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Beyond Little Thoughts
Beyond Little Thoughts
Jun 09, 2023

I believe appreciation would remain. If we are not judging, there is more room to appreciate, not only positives but lessons learned from negatives. It would make positive and negative as terms mean less in this context, making us appreciate everything as an experience.

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Patrick Jeitz
Patrick Jeitz
Jun 09, 2023
Replying to

Thank you for this perfect closing wrap-up. 😊

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